To Appease Others, or To Appease Oneself

Many people are willing to just agree to others' demands in hopes of settling a dispute, or in other words, they are willing to appease other people. But this often offers only a temporary means of settlement, and eventually the conflict will resurface and be much more impactful. This was seen in World War II when countries essentially helped Hitler rise to power by fulfilling all of his demands, but it also can be seen in one' daily life. Many students try to do well in school in hopes of appeasing their parents who are pushing them to do well. This just leads to the student and their parents being mad at each other, since the student begins to feel the stress of having to constantly do well and eventually snaps at their parents, leading to a much bigger punishment than getting a bad grade on a test would have gotten them. I have heard countless students complain of the stress put on them when they try to fulfill their parents' wishes. My parents too want me to get good grades, but the reason I try hard is not to appease them, but to appease myself. I want to be a doctor and to do that, I know that I need to study hard. I set goals for myself and when I achieve them, I feel much happier and more proud of what I have done especially since there is no outside pressure or expectations.

Of course, we can't always just appease ourselves. Imagine how out of control the world would be if everyone only thought about themselves. This is where compromise comes in. In a compromise, there is a give and take on both sides. For example, instead of getting good grades just to appease my parents and not get in trouble, I get good grades because as long as my grades as are good, my parents don't set any limitations on how long I can watch tv or whether I can go out on the weekends or not. This way no one feels forced into doing something by the other person; both sides are getting, at least to some extent, what they want. No one wants to do something and get nothing out of it; a compromise solves this problem.

Appeasement vs. Compromise

Appeasement and compromise are very different things. Appeasement requires only one side to yield to the other person's wishes, whereas compromise is a partial yielding of both sides—only an adjustment of each side's wishes. Personally, I believe more in compromise than appeasement, because decisions are more effective if everyone involved has some kind of say in them, rather than having to surrender to one person's idea. Ever since I stopped eating meat, I've had to do a lot of compromising when it comes to ordering food (especially for clubs or special events). Obviously, I don't force everyone to appease me by ordering all non-meat food all the time. Instead, we order half meat half not meat, so neither meat-eaters nor non-meat-eaters feel a lack of food they like. In general, compromise leads to much better conclusions than appeasement, because neither person (or group) feels like they have been completely ignored in their wishes or opinions.

What to do, what to do?

Appeasement, as has been seen in the months leading up to World War II, is usually quite ineffective. One side gives the other side what they want in hopes that conflict will not break out, but this puts the side that gives in an extremely vulnerable situation (which often goads the receiving side into pressing for more concessions).

As I'm sure many of you can relate, more or less every day we must concede something we want in the name of the greater good, or simply to avoid conflict over something deemed unnecessary. Perhaps one of the more relevant examples of this for me is my dad.

Currently, he has this obsession with me joining Mock Trial, although I have expressed no interest in it, nor do I have any. Of course, like many dads (why is it so often dads?) he quite frankly doesn't give a'. He drops me off at the train station in the morning, so half of the time, he will pester me with a "Go join Mock Trial today." And I will sort of "Mmm" in acknowledgment. Of course, I won't actually do it, because...y'know...I don't give a sh't either. And of course, I don't bother to try and say "I don't want to," because he will go on and on about how I have to make something of myself, and that I need to speak up more.

This morning was quite possibly even worse. "I want you to go join Mock Trial today. I've been "asking" (read: forcing.) you to do this for two damn years. I don't care if you have to skip lunch to do this; by the end of today, I want you to be part of Mock Trial."

I think a good half of the people in this school would respond with a "F'ck your couch, dad." The other half, myself included, simply roll with the punches and try to avoid escalating an unnecessary conflict, hoping that it will blow over.

Appeasement is not healthy nor fun, but it works. Sometimes. Sort of.

Not really.

The Allies learned this the hard way, and- it seems- so am I.
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P.S. : Apologies. That was more of a rant than an analysis. But still, I felt it quite fitting, especially considering the concept we are discussing.

Appeasement

Usually, I find appeasement to not be helpful, because in the end one thing leads to another and the situation is dragged out much longer than predicted. Once, when my family was having a family feud and we were all in a quarrel, and as a result of the argument my brother ended up being grounded. I started to clean his room for him because I felt bad, and then one day I simply didn't clean his room because I forgot. He began to rely on me cleaning his room even after his grounding was over. Here I was able to see how easily one action leads into another and I instantly became the weaker one in our relationship.

Appeasement-Oped

In our daily lives, appeasement is used in many ways. First, in any argument I use appeasement to ease the situation and to keep the argument from escalating. Just last night, I used appeasement to keep the situation from escalating. My sister and I were fighting to choose where to go to dinner. I compromised and went to the place that she wanted to keep my family from not going any where at all. Also, I think it would be interesting to see how Hitler used appeasement because in my mind it seems that he wouldn't use it at all. Although Hitler was a dictator, I'm sure he used appeasement in some way to convince his subjects in following him. Third, like Hitler I use appeasement to manipulate people to get what I want. Although I do not want to compare myself to Hitler in any way shape or form it is a common use and I use it to get what I want.

By Bobby Pender

Father-Daughter Appeasement

I have tired to appease my father with the hope it would prevent continual tension in my decision not to walk with him. I hate walking, especially with my father. What sixteen-year-old daughter wants to walk with her father? After sixteen years of being his daughter I have learned the more I give into his demand to walk the more willing he is to let me do what I want with my free time. Sadly this strategy doesn’t always work. For example, my dad has this thing about wanting to walk with me on the weekends. Whenever I know I want to do something on that particular weekend and he asks me to walk instead of saying no and arguing, I go. Usually arguing makes him angry and then he uses that against me and tells me I can’t go out. I find it easier to say yes with out any complaining. I thought by doing this it would work to my advantage. Actually it did at first it worked like magic until my dad figured it out and started using it to his advantage. For instance he will say if you walk with me today I "might" let you go out, might being the key word. After walking with him and trying to be pleasant I am excitedly thinking, "Yes I am going out" tonight. But no I will ask him and he will flat out say no. This makes me mad and then we get into an argument. This causes tension between me and my dad and a fight I was trying to avoid. Over time I have learned appeasing someone isn't always the most effective way to get what you want. The other person has to be willing to go along and want to ease the tension as well. Appeasement is not like a signed contract; it is based on good faith that both parties will give into each other’s demands. With appeasement there is no guarantee.

Murder Artisit

In the article the “Murder Artist” by Terry Teachout, the idea of how Adolf Hitler’s artistic skill influenced his political rule is addressed. It starts out by saying that Hitler originally wanted to be an artist, that even when he applied at a German worker’s party he said he described himself as a painter. Hitler had even said that “[he] became a politician against [his] will. If someone else had been found, [he] would never have gone into politics; [he] would have been an artist or a philosopher.” Hitler’s passion and artistic knowledge could have been used in innocent ways if given enough encouragement. However, Hitler ended up using the expressive power of art for a “more practical and far-reaching use.”

The article then goes on to discuss Hitler’s “aesthetic talents…were in fact at the heart of his political self-understanding.” It mentions how Hitler planned to create cultural monuments that would change the face of Germany and immortalize himself. However, he did not only plan to use art after his conquer, but also to conquer Germany. Many of his speeches and media were planned out by him to help influence his audience. Everything was organized, especially the seating charts, to centralize all of the focus on him.

Overall this article does a very good job depicting the importance of art in Hitler’s life and his use of hit to dominate over others.